I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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