I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
