Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize