dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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