A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
