In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
