should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
God, you're like boner-b-gone
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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