theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
