This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
