Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
