you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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