i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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