you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
