Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
is it fun? or sober?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize