Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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