If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
