Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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