I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
