Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
