By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
