well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
