i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
