I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
