I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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