There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
