and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
