needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize