Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
