nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Green mimosas i think yes
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
