someone threw a dead crab at me
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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