Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
