Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Randomize
