Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
