what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize