Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
