dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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