there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
