Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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