My pussy is not your playground.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
