I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
