I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize