i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
