Your dad touched me again.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize