Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
