Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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