was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you win again, gameday.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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