party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
