whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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