I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
