Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
