Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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