Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
