Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
