talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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