i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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