yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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