i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize