After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
