You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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