i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
