Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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