Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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