The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
