I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
