i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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