we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
