no, he came in my armpit
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
